I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
