Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I understand Curling. That high.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
