just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
