Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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