Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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