Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
