It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I believe in your delicious
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
