I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
