there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
