Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
