wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
