She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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