So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
