i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
