my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
