thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Who died my cat blue again?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
