i love accidental penises.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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