I don't usually arrange sex via text message
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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