You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
