problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
