It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
