just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
