the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
When are your genitals available?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
