Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
