Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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