there was a trapeze. enough said
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
