watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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