mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
