You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
