I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
