No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
