If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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