Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
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