4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
