after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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