Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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