If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
