I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
