That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I FOUND THE LEGS
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
