thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
