dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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