I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
