so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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