I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
