Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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