Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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