So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
