It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
