I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
