He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
