You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
