Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
